Copypasta

While watching a Caleb Hart stream, you may get hungry. Here is a selection of stale copypastas for all your shitposting needs.

Put your pastas below here:
BREAKING NEWS - Southern Illinois scientists have discovered what they are calling “the unluckiest human ever”. The unfortunate individual, a redhead, pasty skin, toxic muscle man, discovered this condition by badly playing a a children’s game named ‘Pokemon Red’. “It’s literally unbelievable, dude”, the man told scientists. “I play every game perfectly, but the RNG just keep cucking me!” The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a soy overdose.

I approached Calebhart42 in the grocery store 1 hour after his stream when he got Aqualunged for the 8th time in a row and I said "Sup Caleb that Aqualung eh? so stupid this RNG" then he suddenly punched me in the face then started throwing shit around the grocery store swearing yelling "FUCKING JENOVA BITCH!!! AQUALUNG?? REALLY??" then proceeded to throw a mug at me it was really scary shit man I thought I was gonna die I never seen such Soy overdose in my life I'm lucky to be alive...

I got my sister pregnant so I named the kid yoshiyuki so I would forget they ever happened after I put them up for adoption.

i think its hilarious u kids talking shit about Endo. u wouldnt say this shit to his face, hes a mod. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes, eats at the chillest restaurants and hangs out with the hottest dudes. yall are pathetic lol.

hey mods can we ban endo please? i ran the numbers and came to the conclusion that banning endo from the chat would make everyones chatting experience improve by around 400% monkaHmm

I’m telling you, Caleb Hart is as cracked as he is jacked. I saw him at a 7-11 the other day buying Monster and adult diapers. I asked him what the diapers were for and he said ”they contain my full power so I don’t completely shit on these kids“ then he wrong-warped into Sephiroths final boss battle

Hi! Few things to start off with =] 1. Yes I added you because you're a female gamer, 'tis an awesome thing to see! 2. I'm Caleb. 3. Don't be intimidated, but I'm not a stereotypical guy. If anything I'll be the one in the kitchen =D

You call this a job??? This ain't no fucking job you red head mother fucker! TRY waking up at 4 AM EVERYDAY and going till MIDNIGHT 6 DAYS A WEEK, none of this childs play begging bullshit you NERDS do. You millennial cry babies always begging for things, and NEVER TRYING TO WORK FOR IT

Oh my god, what the hell? what's going on? What, oh my god. Coke, are you serious right now? COKE GAMING WHAT! You are invited to the Twitch Partner Program! HI, I Just got partnered. We got partnered boys. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What! Coke Gaming, what Is this? 10,000 bits? Coke Gaming, thank you so much for the 10,000 bits! Thanks. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you Coke.

"God damnit, it's Caleb calling again" sighed the cable technician to himself. "Why won't this soy boy cuck just let his internet die". "Maybe if I tell him his modem is showing as offline that'll get him off my back for the night"

More like he was completely underlevel. I am looking at those stats and off the top of my head without going to my stats sheet for FF7 his success rate would be well under 10%. When you speed run RPGs while being under level you risk losing big b/c you're playing a craps game

I am looking at those stats and off the top of my head without going to my stats sheet for FF7, his success rate would be well under 10%. When you speed run RPGs while being under level you risk losing big. Level has everything to do with success rates and gear. If you are under level there’s an increased chance of any action you take being a complete and utter failure. It astounds me that there’s so much misinformation about the mechanics.

Guys can you please not Dessbo the chat. My mom bought me this new MATTE and it gets really MIERDA when the chat is being spamed. Now my SOKOOCUCK is starting to hurt because it is getting so hot. Please, if you don't want me to GOTOBED, then dont spam the chat

The CopyPastas of night falls around my soul And the Pepegas within loses control Gotta let it out, gotta let it out Gotta let it out, gotta let it out This Smiler inside has ahold of me Clenching its power, trying to break free Gotta let it out, gotta let it out Gotta let it out, gotta let it out All of these Nomura Ghosts runnin' through my head Arms on fire, veins burnin' with Soy Frustration is gettin' bigger Bang, bang, bang, pull my Pepega Trigger

Caleb, I used to be a fan of your mega man videos. Keyword USED TO. thats was before I realized you were friends with the lowest form of human life on planet earth: speedrunners. Im sorry but I can't sympathize with someone permitting the kind of behavior that insults the Japanese. unsubscribed, unliked, uncommented, you will earn my support when you announce your broken ties with these fake gamers you call friends. bye bye!

Dessbo DENIED calebRage MY RAGE IS SUPPLIED calebRage MUSCLE MAN, YOU LIED calebRage MY SUB WILL BE REVISED

Guys, I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking. I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with High Max. That perfect, metal body. Those bountiful Dessbo. The big blue balls of lightning. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never Dessbo with him, pass my genes through him, and have him birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to get High Max Dessbo 'd. D E S S B O. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear.

I sexually identify as a Dessbo. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of throwing my big balls at blue guys. People say to me that a person being a Dessbo is impossible and I’m fucking r-worded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install black robotic armor, Dessbo cannons and hover shoes on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “ Dessbo ” and respect my right to Dessbo from above and Dessbo needlessly.

Hey Caleb, its EED from the Hogwarts Quidditch Team, how you been bro? I see you're still playing video games some things never change! Hey are you still playing the Harry Potter game? I never had time for video games I was too busy playing Quidditch and going to magic parties. Anyways good seeing you bro,call me and we can hit the Chamber of Secret's.

I think its hilarious u kids talking shit about Caleb. u wouldnt say this stuff to him at lan, hes jacked. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes, eats at the chillest restaurants and hangs out with the hottest BBWs. yall are pathetic lol

Guys, seriously, Caleb is 31 years old. You may not know this, but the original "Caleb is 13 years old meme" originated because Caleb had typo'd when someone asked him his age, and some fuckstain shitbag memekekker thought it was funny. Well, I'm tired of these immature "jokes." It's time that we pursue TRUTH and ACCURACY on TWITCH. Only then will we gain respect as grown men who spend our evenings watching a shirtless ginger resetting the same game every two minutes.

Hey Caleb, its Crusher from the Gate Level, how you been bro? I see you're still playing video games some things never change! Hey are you still getting smooshed when I come down on you? I never had time for Dessbo I was too busy playing being a crusher and laying shit flat. Anyways good seeing you bro,call me and I can crush you.

Hey Caleb, its Dessbo from the college football team, how you been bro? I see you're still playing video games some things never change! Hey are you still playing the Mega Man X6 game? I never had time for video games I was too busy playing football and going to frat parties. Anyways good seeing you bro,call me and we can hit the clubs.

Hey Caleb, its Gate from the Gate Level, how you been bro? I see you're still playing video games some things never change! Hey are you still getting cucked by my RNG? I never had time for SOOKACOK I was too busy saying MIERDA and MATTE. Anyways good seeing you bro,call me and I can GOTOBED!

So you’re going by “calebhart42” now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it’s Seymour here. Remember me? Me and the other Maesters used to have Anima pick on you in school. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Yuna? The girl you had a crush on? Yeah, I married her and you didn't; tough luck. I destroy over 200k Machina a year and drive a Yu Yevon GT. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic...

So you’re going by “Calebhart42” now nerd? Haha whats up , it’s Unknown entity A,B,C,D,E from Highschool. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in school. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember  the girl you had a crush on? Yeah we’re married now. I make  a year. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. 

YOU AIN'T FUNNY KID calebSHUTTLE THERE IS NO REBUTTAL calebSHUTTLE GO OUTSIDE AND STAND calebSHUTTLE IN FRONT OF THE SHUTTLE calebSHUTTLE

I saw Caleb Hart at a grocery store in Soyland a while back. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off.

It doesn’t really matter what you play. You want to seem like you’re professional. You want to seem like you know what you’re doing because when people see that, they’re really going to latch onto that. I mainly do speedruns because that’s what I like doing… just have a good time, because what a lot of people do… and this is a very very bad approach…. is that they come in thinking about money. That’s not what you want to do when you first start streaming, unless of course you’re already

RUN IS DEAD, angry orange haired man just said the run is wr pace, meaning in about 4-5 hours he will wake up my neighbors by shouting and screaming about how unfair and stupid this children’s game called ff7 is. RUN IS DEAD

I really wish you hadn't yelled like that. That was the day I started hearing ringing in my ears, very shortly after I watched your YouTube video in my car. You just yelled randomly and it hurt so bad. Why? Intentionally to hurt people's ears, right? What the fuck? Tinnitus sucks man. It's for life. You took something precious from me forever. I'd like to think you're a decent guy. Please don't scar anyone else. I hope I can forgive you someday.

THIS IS PUBLIC HEALTH ANNOUNCEMENT: There has been a strain of a new virus outbreak with a mass number of confirmed cases throughout the world the virus has been identified as "Caleb-19" the symptoms are a high increase of Soy pressure in your blood, high aggression and tension, massive bad RNG happening to you, urges to break mugs, and getting Aqualung'd 8 times in a row. Please practice Caleb-distancing, stay indoors and avoid public gatherings until further notice!

My name is Calebhart42. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as a Streamer for the Twitch streaming site, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest to stream. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink Soy. I'm in bed by 6 AM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm Soy milk and doing about twenty minutes of controller breaking before going to bed

Hi Calebhart42, I enjoy watching your stream but it seems like every time I do, you have the worst luck: You get double Lapis’d by Carry Armor again? COCK Did you not roll early enough in the Dark Souls boss fight? COCK Did Nidoran break out of the Pokeball early again? COCK Are the cats being annoying again? COCK Maybe u should just GET GUD STRIMMER